It was our first home as husband and wife.
We built it together, it was ours.
That’s the hallway where we walked in together as husband and wife.
That’s the kitchen we cooked in together as husband and wife.
That’s the dining room we dined in together as husband and wife
That’s the living room where we spent our evenings together as husband and wife
That’s the bedroom we slept in together as husband and wife
That’s our linen closet, that’s our bathroom, that’s our walk in closet, that’s our storage.
I cleaned everything out today.
Once a thriving happy place, it felt like cleaning a corpse today … cold, lifeless and dead.
I once decorated our home, our walls, every room, every nook and crook. I kept our home spotless and beautiful. I know you loved it, you were always insisting on hosting at home.
I wished good-bye to each room, I wanted to cry but couldn’t.
On my way out, I gathered enough courage to touch the wall before I stepped outside to lock the door. I will never forget that moment, that touch that feel, I said good-bye to our home for both of us. I thanked our home for all the blessings it gave us, for the safety it provided us with, for it’s warmth and comfort.
I thanked our home for all the beautiful memories it allowed us to create together.
I thanked our home for everything it taught us.
I stood outside our front door for a little bit, just looking at the big brown door. It was locked now. I would never step foot inside there again. It would never again be our home again.
I walked away, allowing myself to shed a few tears only.
Tonight my tears won’t stop, I can’t write more than a few words and everything becomes blurry and I have to wipe my eyes.
Sigh … this is not what I wanted